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else. I regret that now. But perhaps it's still possible for me to
experience the pleasures of parenthood. Will you marry me, Alex?
Will you be the mother of my children?'
She was struck dumb.
The vague disquiet he had kindled by raising the subject of
relationships between older men and younger women hadn't
encompassed this astounding turn of events.
Floundering in total confusion, she stammered, 'I I had no idea ...'
'I realise that,' he said kindly. 'It's come as a shock. But don't dismiss
it right away. Think it over, Alex. Take time and think it over as I
have.'
She didn't need time to think it over, only to find the right words for
a gracious but firm refusal.
'I guess you've had a lot of proposals ... a lot of guys in love with
you,' he went on. 'I don't know why you turned them down but I'm
glad you did. Many talented girls get married too soon and never
fulfil their potential. Most young men are too selfish to make good
husbands. I was myself. I expected to be the most important person
in Mary's life, and I was. That was wrong. I was wrong to want that,
and she was wrong to allow it.'
'She was probably perfectly satisfied to build her life around yours,
John,' Alex murmured.
'Maybe, but it still wasn't right. If I had grown daughters I wouldn't
want to see them involved in the kind of marriage I had. When it
comes to the crunch, we are all alone in this world, Alex, and that's
why it's very important for us not to be totally dependent on other
people, not even husbands and wives. I realise now that if anything
had happened to me Mary would have been lost. She had no strong
interest in anything other than looking after me. She had no identity
except as my wife. That can never happen to you. Believe me, I
wouldn't expect you to give up your career. In fact I'm still hoping
you're going to take the job I offered you.'
'John, I'm very flattered -' she began.
He moved closer and reached for her hands, taking them firmly in
his.
'I should have led up to this gradually. That was my intention in
bringing you to Hawaii. I thought if we had a few days together in a
romantic setting you would begin to realise that my interest in you
was no longer purely professional or paternal. It hasn't been for
some time. The day we went to Victoria I was sure we could make a
very pleasant life together. What I haven't been able to guess was
how you would react to the idea. Obviously it's come as a shock.
You had no inkling what was in my mind?'
'No, none at all,' she replied. 'You've been at pains to make it clear
that you weren't likely to proposition me, but I never dreamed you
might propose marriage.'
'I don't know why not. You have all the qualifications to make a
delightful wife. You're cheerful, intelligent, kind the three most
important things. And you're extremely attractive. More than that
beautiful.'
His fingers tightened. He leaned towards her. He was going to kiss
her, she realised, swaying away to avoid it.
'John, listen ... I'm terribly sorry but I can't marry you because ...
because I'm in love with someone else,' she finished, in a breathless
rush.
He straightened, slowly releasing his hold on her hands. 'I see,' he
said heavily.
'I would have told you before, if it had seemed relevant.'
He said, 'It's the tall, dark-haired guy who was in the restaurant, isn't
it?'
'How did you know?' she exclaimed, in amazement. 'Surely I didn't
give myself away to that extent?'
'No, you showed some reaction when he passed us. But I couldn't
have guessed it from that. He gave more away than you did. Every
time I glanced his way he was watching you or glowering at me.
Would you mind telling me why, if you love him and he feels the
same, you're not on speaking terms?'
'I don't know that he does feel the same now,' said Alex.
Within minutes of John's proposal, she found herself telling him that
Laurier had wanted to marry her, the reasons for her refusal and how
their relationship had ended.
'But from what his grandmother told me, after he left Vancouver, I
think he may have changed his mind as well,' she finished.
'Not if I'm any judge. That guy is being eaten alive by jealousy of
me,' said John. 'I'm pretty sure the reason he left Vancouver without
saying goodbye is because he thought you were two-timing him.
Not without reason,' he added.
'What do you mean?' she asked perplexedly.
'As soon as he turned around I recognised his face. The first time I
saw him he was standing in the hallway outside your apartment. I
was in my underpants and a bathrobe, you were down the street
buying the stuff for my leg. The reason I went to the door when the
buzzer went was because I thought you'd forgotten your key. He
looked surprised to see me. Then he said something like, "I must
have the room number wrong. Sorry to disturb you", and went back
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